Good Morning everyone. There will be meditation tonight at my studio at 7pm. Please let me know via text or email if you plan to attend. I look forward to seeing you there.
There is this saying that we teach what we need to learn. This has been the absolute truth in my life. As I went through a difficult time in my life 21 years ago, I heard this message saying: “Marion, there is Power in Vulnerability.” This teaching led me into the work I do and into this deep exploration of the unconscious limiting patterns that cause us pain and keep us from living open heart centered lives. I made a commitment then to trust in my intuition and act on it. Mostly I have done that yet when I look back at the places where I let fear take over, it led down a road to exactly what I feared most. What a paradox. It seems as if there must come a time when we are free of these limitations and of the old painful wounds, yet I find that every time I go through a transition in my life, I am once again faced with these fears and insecurities. I like to think I continue to grow and evolve and come to a deeper freedom each time I navigate the world of my deeper Self. What saddens me is the way I can be so harsh with myself. I have a powerful inner critic and I know the duty of this critic is to ensure my perfectionism as a means of protection, which of course does not exist. It is merely protection and all it does is separate me from others and create more pain and loneliness. You see my deepest unconscious pattern is that I am not wanted. We all have something, “not good enough”, “not lovable”, “not interesting”, “not worthy” and sometimes numerous of these all working together to make sure we don’t reveal these disembodied or hidden parts of ourselves. As you have so often heard me say, the freedom comes when we learn to love and accept ourselves as we are, all of the parts, the ones we like and the ones we feel shame around. This, of course, is easier to talk about than to really embody. Some of the most successful people in the world carry a hidden shame of unworthiness or insecurity. Don’t think you are alone.
The past two years I feel as if I have been a bit stuck. I have been having some health struggles (nothing too serious, please don’t worry). I also have felt the emotional impact of my life as I have grieved a long marriage and other relationships. It is as if the universe is challenging me to really let go into myself, to let go of protections and limitations. I have always enjoyed my work and I love to hold space for others and their healing every day but when it comes to expansion in my life, both personally and professionally, I have been somewhat frozen. Supporting others comes easy to me yet learning to be vulnerable, to receive and to practice self care, I struggle. It seems as if it is time for me to practice deep self love and acceptance, to allow myself to show up in the world in a way that risks what I fear so much, being rejected or not wanted. I feel myself being challenged. It is one thing for me to be open and vulnerable with those I feel safe with and yet another to look at myself in the mirror, listen deep inside to the whole of myself, warts and all, and surrender into a loving accepting relationship with myself. Somewhere inside of me I know this will bring me peace.
Isn’t that what I teach all the time?
- Be who you are and trust in your inner guidance and your life will unfold in divine alignment
- Practice daily meditation to center yourself
- Practice mindfulness so that you are aware of what limits you
- Learn what fear feels like in your body and allow yourself to feel it
- Learn to listen to your inner guidance
- Nurture yourself with yoga, exercise and healthy food
- Become aware of the relationships that are toxic for you
- Be loving and kind to yourself and others
In deep love and gratitude for all the love and support I have in my life
Love and Light,