To live a life of authenticity and peace, we must learn to know ourselves and accept ourselves. Often we think of this journey as work or as a means of fixing what we consider broken or wrong with us. While the movement within through the layers of fear, shame, guilt, and insecurity can be daunting and painful, it is also the means to a freedom to be who we essentially are.
This uncovering cannot happen in the intellectual mind. We must let go into our own heart space and deep intuitive knowing through our emotions and feeling bodies and take each step as it is offered. Sometimes things don’t make sense to us in the moment and we question why these painful things happen. I have found that usually what is revealed through a courageous presence is a deeper knowing and a gentler acceptance of myself and my life in each moment.
In absolute agony a couple weeks back and unable to find any relief, I was wondering what this was about. Intuitively I had been feeling myself emerging from a very difficult 8 years since my divorce. I was looking forward to the Mindfulness training I begin this month. I had a lighter feeling about what was to come and then……. My two-week old car bashed in and clearly, more importantly, my health challenged. Little did I know that my colon had twisted and that the only option was an emergency surgical procedure. Thankfully I listened to my body’s call for help and am recovering well. Believe me, I had my moments of asking why?? There also was that constant companion, my Spirit, that knew somehow this was part of my walk out into the world. Not like it was meant to be as we often flippantly say to each other, but that the gifts within this experience and whatever I was letting go of would allow me to move into this next part of my life lighter and with more ease and grace.
My deepest gratitude for the absolute outpouring of love I have received. I am humbled by your beautiful and giving hearts. Thank you also for your patience as I take the time to heal. I am doing it differently and not rushing back to work, both to honor myself and my need to gain strength and to stay in integrity to you all so that when I do return the space I hold is open and sacred and clear. I am looking forward to seeing you all soon.
Love and Light, Marion