The most important component in communicating effectively in our relationships is the art of deep listening. Often we are so busy thinking of what we will say next that we don’t truly listen to either our own selves or the other person. The greatest gift we can give to both ourselves and others is to listen. What does it mean to listen deeply and how do we do that? I believe it begins with being able to be present with yourself and to know yourself well. True healing begins when we are honest with ourselves and can move out of the stories and allow ourselves to feel our emotions and then take full responsibility for our actions and responses. To be able to really know what drives our actions we have to look at our unconscious patterns buried deep within and this is why we have to learn to listen deeply within without judgement, blame or excuses. When we are able to listen to ourselves we are more capable of truly listening to others in a deep open and compassionate way. Listening deeply involves being still, feeling sensations within and allowing the mind to suspend its desire to judge or advise. We must learn to listen to the whole being. We are all energy and we emit most information non verbally. If we continue to listen only to each others words we will not make the connections we really want in our lives.
Become centered and grounded within your own being
Know yourself well enough to realize what reactions are coming from conditioned responses
Allow the other person’s words to move through your whole being
Suspend making judgements or forming opinions or giving advice
Keep your heart open and practice compassion
Notice the sensations you feel in your body
Receive the other person openly and practice acceptance
Listen to the energy of the particular words the other person uses
As with everything in relationship, deep listening and effective communication begin with the relationship with ourselves. It is this inner relationship that creates an environment in which we can develop healthy relationships with others. This communication style is the key to success both in our personal and professional lives.
Love and Light, Marion