In our journey to freedom and wholeness, it is important to keep ourselves open to the past and the future so that we can live fully present. Many of us believe that there is no point in going back into our past history to uncover things that might have created pain. Our experiences of our lives are registered in our bodies, the vehicle we have to experience our earthly existence. These body memories often ignite emotion in us even when we are not consciously thinking of what might have happened before. While I completely agree that it is not helpful to remain victimized by past events or continue to blame others for why our life isn’t quite where we want it to be, it is important to allow compassion and space around things that affect our relationship with ourselves, our loved ones and our work and our health, both physical and mental/emotional.
I have been undergoing this spot radiation treatment for some skin cancers that I have. It is not life threatening or even that unpleasant except for the inconvenience of rearranging my schedule and going there each day. It has however brought up some very old and deep emotions in me.When I was 13 or 14 years old I had a spinal fusion for scoliosis on my back. It involved a prolonged hospital stay and a few months in a body cast afterwards. I was unable to move unless a nurse moved me every three or four hours. One of the toughest aspects of this surgery was the feeling of terror and aloneness I felt. Being as sensitive as I am I can only imagine all the energy I was picking up day and night in that hospital.
Is there a trauma in your life that has immobilized you in any way? Did you freeze around something that happened in your past? Is your Being looking to free you from that old pattern so it doesn’t continue to affect your peace and connectedness? Can we give ourselves the space, attention and nurture we need to allow that energy to be freed? This energy that has been locked in old trauma is vital to living a full passionate life. These blocked energy patterns lead to anxiety and depression, addictions of all kinds and pain. Let us be gentle with ourselves yet not indulgent, find strength but not push through. Our freedom and peace depend on it.
Love and Light, Marion