Letting go

How do I let go?

One of the most challenging steps of the healing journey is letting go. I hear the question over and over: “How do I do that?” The problem is that there is no exact formula. Letting go is a personal process. First, we must uncover what we are holding onto and what our unconscious reward or motivation for doing so.

What do you want to let go of?

Is it your attachment to a person, a story, your anger toward someone or something, your hurt and pain? Sometimes hold onto the story of what happened to us. Why do we resist letting go, even when we know it would be healing for us? What would we need deep inside to open up again fully and passionately in present time?

Perhaps keeping the story alive allows us to stay stuck in the familiarity of our lives as they are. Sometimes holding on offers a type of protection because it keeps us from venturing into new opportunities or relationships. Therefore, we are keeping ourselves from being hurt or taking risks. Holding onto anger keeps us in the fiery energy of outrage over how we were treated. Unconsciously we often feel we have to hold onto this so we can assure justice is done.

It is always important to have our stories heard and honored. We must feel the feelings associated with what happened in our lives. Which means, taking full responsibility for our feelings and what we are hanging onto without blaming or shaming ourselves.

Letting go and forgiving do not mean forgetting

We want to access a more compassionate part of our being that holds us in our hurt and pain and allows us to find a way to move more fully into the present moment. Our experiences in life and our movement through them allow us to grow and evolve. Our pain can be a great informant of what we want to be aware of moving forward. We want to give this pain it’s voice and listen. We just don’t want to stay stuck in some old relationship, situation or experience. This attachment will not allow us to forgive, let go and open up to what’s ahead.

Ask yourself what you are holding onto, either consciously or unconsciously that keeps you stuck? What aspects of your life are you trying to control? Where in your physical body are you holding onto tension? What is your fear of fully allowing life, openness and expansion? Your intellectual mind will tell you that of course you are not afraid of being free and open and yet we find ourselves repeating behaviors that limit us. Listen underneath the thinking mind. Be gentle as you listen within, then lovingly choose Forgiveness and letting go. You might have to choose it over and over. You will feel more at peace and be more present to create and attract the life you truly desire.

In situations of deep unfathomable loss give yourself all the time you need. Those we have loved stay in our hearts always.

Have a wonderful week.

Love and Light