When someone close to you suffers an unfathomable loss there are not many words that can offer comfort. How do you express the compassion and sadness you feel in your heart for them? We find ourselves wanting to say something that might alleviate their deep grief yet we know that pain will be with them in some form forever. A life that is promised and not lived is something we have no understanding of. How does that happen and “why” we want to ask? The heartache of a mother and father returning from the hospital with empty arms is something that those of us who have not experienced, cannot even imagine. The ripple effect of pain through the family and friends of those grieving parents is palpable and wrenching.
It is at these times that I often struggle to know what those in suffering might need. Where is that place of center where you offer words of comfort and compassion while allowing the family the space they need to grieve? Each person is different in what they might need so it is vital to listen to them and follow their lead. They need love and support and they need space. They need words that might soothe and they need silence. They need you around them and they need to be left alone. Only love from all those around them provides a space for healing a wound that probably will never quite seal but hopefully over time allows for periods where it is not quite as raw.
My heart aches as I write this. Life sometimes makes no sense. Offer love to those around you. Practice compassion.
The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn’t bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.
– Author Unknown –
Love and Light, Marion