Why are we so afraid of talking about our feelings? Why do we see communication as confrontation? The key to healthy relationships is clear, honest and heart centered communication.
So often I hear from people that they do not want to talk to their friends, family or partner about something that is hurting or bothering them because they do not like confrontation. The art of effective communication has the purpose of creating connection and harmony in relationship. Confrontation is all about dispute, fight and contest between two parties. When you learn to speak your truth from your heart you create openness and deep connection. It is essential to let go of the need to be right about things because of course that means the other person has to be wrong. That then sets up a me vs you scenario which leads to hurt and separation. Speaking openly and honestly about what is happening and how it is affecting you allows the other person the space to listen and reflect without feeling that they have to defend an onslaught of what they are doing wrong. It is not always easy to open up and express what is bothering us or hurting us because we fear being rejected or pushed away. We become vulnerable and have to let down our walls of protection.
Most of us have worked long and hard to create a suit of armor that we do not want touched or exposed. We hide behind righteousness or just avoid talking about anything. When things are left unsaid in close intimate relationships, they lie underground and eat away at the connection. Gradually we shut down our hearts to each other, build resentments, focus on our anger at the other person for what we perceive their wrongs to be and generally destroy the fabric of our relationships.
Let us all try to speak up when something bothers us, talk about how it is affecting us and avoid any blaming or shaming of the other person. Developing this kind of intimacy creates deepening connection and ease and flow both within our own beings and within our relationships.
Love and Light, Marion